A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear.
They rough up the snail and take his money.
Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail says, “Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!”
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone.
One day he heard a knock at the door but no one was there. He looked down and there sat a snail who said, “It is quite cold out here. Can I come in?”
The man shouted, “No! Why don’t you all understand I want to be alone?” and he kicked the snail down the mountain.
One year later, there was a knock at the door but no one was there. He looked down and there again sat a snail who said, “What did you do that for?”
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “Oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.”
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate, “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
