Hi there. I’m Bob. I’m 80.
Every morning, I sit on the same park bench and chat to my friend, Jim, who’s a full seven years older than me. I’ve always wondered where he gets all his stamina from – he goes for a jog each day without fail, before meeting me. And, amazingly, he’s never out of breath.
One fine day, I plucked up the courage to ask him: “Hey Jim, how on earth do you have all that stamina at your age?”
“Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies,” Jim replied.
Intrigued, I decided to visit the local bakery on my way home to find myself some Italian bread and hopefully get a vitality boost. As I looked around while trying to ensure that no-one caught on to what I was doing, the lady asked me if I needed any help.
“Do you have any Italian bread?” I asked sheepishly.
“Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”
“I want five loaves.”
“My goodness, five loaves?” she exclaimed. “By the time you get to the fifth loaf, it’ll be hard.”
I left as fast as my old legs could carry me!
A reporter hears of a woman in his town that has the highest welfare payments, and he was curious as to why.
So he went to her house to interview her.
He got to a little house and after she opens, introduces himself and asks her, “How old are you?” He asked.
“27.” she said.
“And how many children do you have?”
“Ten,” she replied.
“Wow, ok that explains a lot.” He said, taken a back.
“And what are their names?” he asked.
“Well there’s Bob, then there’s Bob, and Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and of course Bob.”
“They’re ALL named Bob?” he asked, even more bewildered. “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” she explained, “I just call ‘Bob,’ and they all come running inside.”
“And if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”
“I just say, ‘Bob, come eat your dinner,’ and they do.” She answered.
“But what if you want just ONE of them to do something?” he asked.
