An elderly lady decided to celebrate her 70th birthday by spending the night in an expensive hotel. When she left the next morning, the receptionist gave her a $250.00 bill. She exploded and wanted to know why the charge was so high.
“It’s a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast.” The clerk told her that $250.00 is the ‘standard rate’, so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The manager appeared and was announced by the front desk: “This hotel has an Olympic size pool and a large conference center, available.” “But I did not use it,” she says. “Well, they are here and you could,” explained the manager.
He further stated that she may have seen one of the hotel’s shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best artists in the world here,” said the director. “But I did not attend any of these shows,” she said.
“Well, we have them and you could,” replied the manager. Regardless of the arrangements mentioned by the manager, she replied: “But I did not use it!” And the manager responded with his standard answer. After a few minutes of discussion with the manager, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to her. The manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
“But madam, this check is for only $50.00.” “That’s correct. I charged You $200.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied. “But I didn’t!” exclaims the very surprised Manager.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.” Don’t mess with Senior Citizens!!!
86-Year-Old Woman Sends This Angry Letter To The Bank After They Bounced Her Check
Elderly people may look frail, but messing with them is never a good idea. Although their body has aged, their mind is still sharp as a whip and their experience in many years have allowed them to gain the upper hand in many situations.
The following letter was sent to a bank manager by an 86-year-old woman after her check bounced. He thought it was so funny, so he sent it to the New York Times to publish. The letter will make you smile and remind you that messing with older people is a very bad move indeed!
Here’s the full letter:
“Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. According to my calculations, it takes three nanoseconds between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
Of course, I’m talking about the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only 8 years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that when I personally answer your phone calls and letters, when I wanted to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his/her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and documented proof of the required details of his/her financial situation (income, liabilities, assets, and debts) must be provided.
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.”
LOL! What a priceless comeback!