This has to be the best definition of life you’ve ever stumbled upon. It perfectly depicts all the phases of existence we go through. It may also make you laugh once you realize how accurate it is.
On the first day, God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.”
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed.
And the next animal that God breathed life into was the cow, and God said unto the cow “you have one of the most important jobs of all animal life; you must work with man in the field and the blazing hot sun, you must bear calves, and you must provide milk to the farmers so that they may quench their family’s thirst, and in exchange for this crucial job I shall grant you sixty years of life. But the cow was also not content with God’s generous offer.
“You bless me, God, truly, but that kind of sounds like a tough life to manage for sixty years. I’ve got to be honest: I’m not even sure I’d still be able to make milk after year twenty. How about I keep twenty of the years and I’ll give the other forty back to you?” And God saw the plight of the cow and so he gave it mercy.
And God agreed again.
And as you all know God created a human kind, and when he did he told us how we were meant to live. “Go forth and enjoy life’s pleasures; feast, rest, love, wed, frolic, and chase your wildest dreams; do this and I will give you twenty beautiful years to live your life to the fullest.” But humankind was not content with God’s gracious offer.
“Only twenty years?” Humanity cried. “How could I enjoy all the beauty of your creation in such a short amount of time? Couldn’t you possibly give me a bit longer? How about you also give me all the unwanted years of the other animals: then I could live eighty years in the pursuit of happiness.”
And so God grinned and replied, “all right… you’ll get what you asked for.”
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
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