One of the key elements of a healthy relationship is respect, however, in the beginning, it is difficult to see whether your partner truly respects you. Even though it is often obvious that you are being disrespected, it is sometimes hard to see the signs particularly because everyone has a different definition of respect.
Respect is something that can’t be measured which is why little research has been done regarding this topic. However, psychologists have been able to create a definition of respect which includes the following:
- Not being abusive or judgmental
- Being considerate
Most of the subjects in the study had the same concept about respect and they agreed that the following 5 things are a definite sign that your partner is being disrespectful.
1. He/she tells you what is wrong with you
Most people are aware of their own flaws, which is why there is no need to constantly pointing them out. Some people find it very difficult to accept themselves with all their flaws, so being reminded about them is not very helpful. If your partner does this to you, it is a clear sign that he/she is disrespectful. Be open about how you feel and let them know you are aware that you are not perfect.
2. He/she doesn’t listen to you
Respect can also be demonstrated by the ability to listen carefully to what your partner is telling you. Communication breaks down if one of the people in the conversation keeps interrupting the other or seems distant. Besides listening, responding is also a very important part of a healthy conversation because it shows that you are fully present at the moment.
3. He/she always does things his/her way
Being in a healthy relationship means having the same and equal rights. Nobody should always be right or have things their way. One of the keys to a respectful relationship is being able to compromise.
If your partner insists on having full control of your relationship, it means that he/she does not respect you enough to value your opinions and needs. Talk about what bothers you and try to point out that you are not going to accept that kind of behavior.
4. He/she disrespects your friends and family
Let’s be honest, your partner will never love your friends and family as much as you. However, this does not mean that he/she should treat them without respect. If you get married in the future, it could become a bigger problem.
Having good relationships with your partner’s friends and family is very important if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
5. He/she is constantly unkind
Harming others, especially if it is intentional, is a red flag that your partner is being disrespectful. Attacking someone whether it is physically or verbally shows how little your partner cares about you or other people’s feelings. He/she should know that everyone is responsible for their own words and actions and he needs to know the consequences of that kind of behavior.