Therapist Explains Why We’re Attracted to People Who are Wrong for Us


I’m asked this question all the time: “Why am I attracted to people who are wrong for me?” And the answer is quite simple, actually:

Because your wounded self is doing the attracting.

Well, I know that the term “wounded self” may seem a bit intense, let me explain it. We are both beings: the “little self” (or the hurt self, the ego) and the “spiritual self” (the higher self, the adult self or the soul).

The injured self is the part of you that feels incomplete. This casts doubt on your value and your value; you do not feel good or a bit imperfect. My wounded self is the “little me” wondering if I’m really adorable.

On the other hand, we also have a spiritual self. This is your higher self, your soul. This is the part of you that is related to love, truth, wisdom and peace. Your spiritual self knows no doubt how kind and precious you are. In many ways, it’s the opposite of the ego.

At some point, we work from one of these two people. Unfortunately, most of us work mainly from the ego point of view. In other words, we think we are, in a way, insignificant and powerless, and we are trying to fill that gap.

The ego looks for things to find validity and perfection. It thinks that as soon as it has more money, better partner, better job, better house, more vacation, etc., it will finally be happy.

But … it’s never happy. Not for long anyway. Because the nature of the ego is to feel incomplete. So, when you review the perspective of your ego, you feel missing. Life through this goal is not very fun.

The ego becomes strongly activated in terms of romantic relationships because these are the greatest injuries.

We have all been disappointed or hurt by a relationship in the past; The memory of this injury transports us (sometimes unconsciously) to adulthood. If an infant injury is still active in you, attract people who will make you feel the same. For example, if your injury is designed to make you feel rejected or invisible, you probably feel like an adult in your relationships.

Your subconscious is programmed to attract people who activate your injuries. The reason is that you will grow up.

It’s a frustrating part of the growth process! But imagine this: you repeat your wounds to finally heal them. We can not heal everything we do not feel or see; We can not heal things that are unconscious! The uncomfortable sensation must come to the surface so that you can grow beyond it.

And how do you grow beyond that?

By identifying yourself with your higher self.

Remember that your higher self is the part of you that knows the truth about you. He knows you are worthy, amazing, capable and powerful. Through the lens of the higher self, you are together. Yes, you are an imperfect person with mistakes. but the greatest truth is: you are a soul.

You are beautiful

You are important

You are something special.

You are love

The higher self knows about you – and he should know you too.

By identifying yourself with your higher self (love in you), you will no longer have to play with others and in some cases it will disappear.

When you wake up with the truth of the Higher Self, you suddenly realize that the “bad” people are only teachers to bring you into the “right” state of mind. A state of mind that does not question your value or value. Unfortunately, nothing inspires us more than a broken heart.

Your higher self wants you to identify with that. it’s supposed to belong to who you really are. Conquer love in you and heal your relationships from within.

 

 

 


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