Three mental institution patients named Billy, Johnny, and Jamie prepare for an exam by the head psychiatrist. If they pass and they’ll be free if they fail and they’ll be detained for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks Billy to jump.
He jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then Jamie jumps and breaks both legs.
Johnny looks over the side and refuses to jump. “Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
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To which Johnny answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
A lady told a man on sitting next to her on an airplane about her grandchild
For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren.
She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.
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“Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?”