A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?” The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”
The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but Darla is pregnant, about four months would be my guess.”
The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?” Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is there something wrong out there doctor?
The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”
So a kid is going through his mother’s purse and takes out her driving license.
His mother catches him reading it and mildly scolds him. The kid says “but i learned so much about you from it!”
“Well, OK, what did you learn about me?”
“Well… I know your age now.”
“And what is that?”, says his mother.
“You’re old”, says the kid.
“And I learned your height.”
“Which is?”
“You’re really tall.”
“Well, yes, I am tall for a woman.”
“And I learned your weight”, he says.
“And what is that?”, asks the mother.
“A lot for a woman your height.”
The mother sighs and says “Well, that’s not nice, but I can’t argue that.”
“And,” the kid says, “I know why dad divorced you.”
“Huh? What?! How on earth did you get that from a driver’s license?”
