“Hello! Gordon’s pizza?”
“No sir, it’s Google’s pizza.”
“So it’s a wrong number? Sorry!”
“No sir, Google bought it.”
“Okay. Take my order, please!”
“Well sir, you want the usual?”
“The usual? You know me?”
“According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage and thick crust.”
“Okay! This is it…”
“May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?”
“What? I hate vegetables.”
“Your cholesterol is not good, sir!”
“How do you know?”
“We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name through the subscribers’ guide. We have the result of your blood tests of the last 7 years.”
“Okay, but I do not want this pizza. I already take medicine.”
“Excuse me, but you do not take your medicine regularly. From our commercial database, four months ago you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.”
“I bought more from another drugstore.”
“It’s not showing on your credit card statement.”
“I paid in cash.”
“But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement.”
“I have other source of cash.”
“It is not showing as per your last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.”
“What the hell?”
“I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.”
“Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me.”
“I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago.”
